| The Choreographed Sunday Morning |
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In the Tithe Preaching church Sunday mornings are designed to sell. From program to preaching the week is spent by the paid staff choreographing the performance. Just as the politician changes his mind to be aligned with the popular opinion so the Church program is designed to attract the maximum number of attendees. Super Sizing Sunday morning creates the mega church. The Charismatic preacher plus the talented music leader multiplied by the dynamic youth leader equals the equation of big business. The Choreographing of Sunday morning is the stuff that 'successful' churches are made of. From the door greeter to the number of songs Sunday morning is planned to sell. Maximize the interest by scaling up the entertainment and the congregation is ready for the tithing sales pitch. "God wants 10% of what you earn to be 'voluntarily given' to this church and if you give this minimum you will be blessed... if you don't not only are you in sin but beware God will getcha". ('Getcha' is the hip way of preaching from the Mal.3 'curse' verse.) In the Choreographed Sunday church it is common to find a people counting ministry. There is actually someone 'called' to count the numbers who attend. This number is an important statistic. It is used to analyze the marketing technique. Was the Choreography successful? Did people return for more? How did the numbers who attended relate to the $ take / offering? These are big questions of concern to the church business. In the business of churchianity it is all about people coming to a service. People come to be served and they are willing to pay money for this service. Choreographing the service properly will yield bigger numbers. Is the music the kind most people want to hear / sing? What attire are most people comfortable with? How many services should be had and what times are best (this could be voted on to obtain the most favorable slots)? What kind of coffee should be served? Should we have an espresso machine? Should the youth leader have a tattoo and should he sport an earring? How many Bible verses should be quoted? How many heartwarming stories should be told? And can the stories be told with heart moving tears in the eye of the preacher? This is especially difficult for the performing preacher if there is three Sunday services but the relationship between the emotional appeal and the opening size of the wallet is directly proportional. The church as a business concept should go the next step. Sell tickets. That's right it would be more forthright to charge an entry fee for the church service than to pass a plate with a required minimum (10% personal weekly income or you are sinning). The ticket price could be waived for first time attendees but could be calculated in a fairly easy and straightforward manner. Sunday Morning Ticket Cost = Yearly Budget / (52 x Average Sunday Attendance). There is only one problem with this business model, it isn't in the Bible.
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